Today (the day I am writing this) was one of those days. The day I didn’t feel like doing anything. Whatever I tried to do, it felt like I messed everything up. The words aren’t coming out right, I didn’t post today, the canvas is not looking good, I don’t want to vlog, and I tried to apply for that opportunity but couldn’t bring myself to. The day my inner critic was at its strongest, the day I feel like giving up. The day I should take as a sign to slow down, breathe, take it one step at a time, but I put pressure on myself to accomplish something. Anything. At least finish one task. Just sort this out already. There has to be something you can complete successfully. I want to go back in my safe cocoon, just hide away and escape from the world.
But then I hear my inner artist voice. A quiet but super strong whisper. Right at the tip of my tongue, trying to get out. So I clear my mind and listen to what it says. It is asking me “what do you need?”. It is telling me “I am not the opposite of your inner critic. We can actually all cooperate together”.
My inner critic. The one that gives me tough love. The one that tells me that “today your emotions are a little much and that’s ok. You just need a break.” The one that helps me overcome the obstacles and fight the battles. The one that shows me that like life, art is not all black and white. It’s ok to be in a grey area. It’s ok to try something new and fail. It’s ok to have doing nothing days.
My inner artist. The one that says take that pressure, take those expectations, take that fear, take that guilt and turn it into a piece of creativity. Honor those human feelings and give it a little extra love and care. Take that creative risk. Forget everything and everyone else for a minute and do something just for yourself. Cherish these moments without any labels (they are not good or bad, they are not beautiful or ugly), just be.
And so I listen. I listen to both the critic and artist, I listen to my heart and gut and take my next step from there.
The next time you hear your inner critic or inner artist, stop what you are doing and just listen. Let your instinct do its thing. Go with the flow. The answers will come. And you will know what to do.
I’m glad you had this inner battle because it brought such beautiful insights. Be kind to the critic and artist inside you. Human nature can be so tough. Sometimes it’s ok to just say, Tomorrow is another day.
Thank you Brandon.
I’m glad you had this inner battle because it brought you to some beautiful insights. I hope you can be kind to both these elements in you. They, as you write, can coexist. Much love.